I was in my 20s when Kim was in my life. At that stage in my life, I had difficulties expressing my anger, especially around others.

Kim & I spent a lot of nights by the water, often just sitting there watching the waves, talking about life. On this particular night, we were at Cadboro Beach (in Victoria), having our usual conversations, when he said, "You're mad, aren't you?" I didn't know what he was talking about and denied it. But he kept egging me on, "Yeah, you're mad, I can tell, just let it out." "No, I'm not, leave me alone." "Yes, you are. Why don't you just scream, shout, hit me if you want." "I'm not mad......" And on and on we went, Kim pushing and pushing while I kept denying it, telling him to leave me alone, to shut up.

Finally I lost it. I don't quite recall what I did, but I know there was definitely screaming and yes, Kim was hit more than a few times.

Afterwards, I was drained, physically and emotionally, and broke down crying. Kim held me in his arms, and with a little laugh, said, "There, doesn't that feel better."

I was working at a brew pub in Victoria when a group of guys came in. After serving them a couple of rounds, one of them (was it Kim? I can't remember but he was definitely in on it) took me aside and said they wanted to play a joke on one of their buddies (again, my memory fails me but I think his name was Josh.) It seems Josh was feeling sorry for himself, having recently been dumped, and liked to complain about how his buddies were always getting the ladies while he was overlooked. So they wanted me to bring over a pitcher of beer and tell Josh that a woman had bought it for him.

Happy to join in on some fun, I brought that beer over and the look on Josh's face was one of doubt. He kept looking at Kim and the gang, not quite sure what to make of this situation. I could tell that he was having doubts that it actually came from a woman but Kim and his friends just kept shrugging and saying "what?".

I got the signal to bring another pitcher and this time I thought I needed to be more convincing. As I plopped the pitcher in front of Josh, I said, "wow... she must really like you" and the boys whooped it up while Josh looked embarrassed (and still incredulous). Josh started asking me questions, "okay, who is she?" and I would answer "she asked me not to tell you. I think she's a bit shy."

The signals for more beer kept coming and each time I brought that "free" beer, Kim and his friends would give a loud whoop, teasing Josh and and playing up the joke even more by standing up and looking around to figure out who this woman was. More questions came my way about this woman (not just from Josh but also his buddies who were in on the joke) and each time I'd give them a tidbit about this woman ("she's got blonde hair...but I can't tell you anymore because I don't want her to think that I told you who she was....). As the night went on, Josh looked less and less skeptical, and more and more flattered.

As the night was coming to end for the guys, Josh begged me to tell him who this woman was ("that was a lot of beer.... I just want to tell her thank you"). I decided to take this joke up another notch, use my intuition, and "find" this mysterious woman. There was a table of three nearby, a couple and a woman who looked pretty bored. She fit the description of the woman I'd been talking about all night so I thought what the heck. I approached her, told her about the joke Kim and his friends were playing, and asked her if she would come over to their table and pretend to be this woman. My intution must have been at a peak that night, because not only did she say yes, but she said it with a lot of enthusiasm (I guess I was right about her being bored). Now I can't remember her name, but for the sake of this story, I'll call her Sue.

I still remember the look on the guys' faces when I brought over Sue to introduce her to Josh. Their jaws literally dropped (all except Josh of course, because to him, this was all real). As Josh and Sue engaged in conversation ("thank you so much for the beer, that was so generous of you" "oh, you're welcome, you just seem like a nice guy, out having a good time with his friends..."), Kim, his buddies, and I were almost on the floor laughing our guts out. At one point, Kim took me aside and asked "who is she?" and I explained I didn't know her, chose her randomly, and am just as shocked as he was at the love connection happening.

So how did the night end? Well, Josh and Sue ended up going to Sue's place, and I got off early and joined Kim and his friends for a night of partying. All night long, we laughed and talked about how the joke ended up, and fantasized about "wouldn't it be funny if Josh and Sue ended up going out...." As it turned out, Josh and Sue's relationship only lasted that one night but I heard Josh had a good time.

Months later, at a nightclub, I bumped into Kim. We recognized each other right away, reminisced about that hilarious night, and that was the beginning of our relationship.

I just stepped out and saw all the snow and am reminded of the Winter of 96. My daughter and I were holed up at our place, my dad offered to come get us but there was too much snow, so we walked, walked until a fellow Filipino saw us, picked us up, and gave us a ride there. I remember how the city was at a standstill and that all we could do was enjoy the snow. How the corner store near my parents' place was pretty well ransacked and how I raided my parents' freezer and gave away whatever we could find to help friends nearby make a decent meal.
Kim, the great walker, was not deterred by that snow. I remember seeing him after his long walks, his face flushed and his eyes glowing from the combination of the cold and spending time in the beautiful outdoors. While others might have grumbled about the inconvenience of it all, not Kim. He relished in it.

I see the snow and the beauty of it all and remember you, Kim.

Living with Kim meant I could bother him with a lot of requests such as "Kim, will you go drink beer with me?" Being the gentleman he was, he would kindly oblige.

One night in particular I remember for some reason we walked home. We were actually a bit drunker than usual. Well I remember I was, otherwise this story would have remained short.

Kim could walk for miles and he knew I was not the intense walker he was (although he did break my being dumped sorrow by walking me for days around Victoria) so I think he may have been creative here to get me motivated.

About a quarter into our 5 KM walk home he says we should take our pants off and see what it's like to walk without them. I think about this for a moment. "Hmmm. He knows I am wearing black shoes and black socks but does he know I am wearing super white underwear?" Probably not...

But when you were with Kim you were always a bit braver than you normally would be. So, the pants came off. I can't remember what color his socks or underwear were but boy did I look ridiculous.

Now you might think two drunken boys walking up the main street in the middle of the night with no pants would be weird but we hardly got any looks at all. So we began to sing.

All the way home we sang and hollered with no pants. Then we got home. Put our pants back on, made some food, watched some lame TV and went to sleep.

Kim, I can't wait for the next midnight stroll without my pants. It will be in dedication of the man who taught me not to be so damn shy!

I met Kim in the back of a Logic class at UVic. It was a morning class and was held in the theater. We would "relax" in the back. Later we got to know each other better and would go sailing and drinking together.

He then moved in with us and was my room mate for a few years in Victoria. Those times were magical for me and we had so many fun times it is all a blur. Some memories include walking home from downtown without our pants on (just for a dare), visiting the swimming pool late in the evening and hours walking around Victoria. Our walls were paper thin so we would often talk through the wall. Comments such as: "feel like getting a beer/coffee?" was common wall talk.

Kim was very supportive to me and always told me how things were without any sugar coating. He really helped me develop into a better person.

When we moved to Vancouver we parted ways and I would only see him ever year or so. I had not seen him in many years so yesterday I googled his name. What I found made me stop in shock and disbelief. I still can't believe it. Kim may have left us years ago but for me this might as well have happened yesterday.

Kim was not supposed to leave us. He was a guiding light to me and many others (although I am not sure he knew that). It is a tragedy and I am devastated. I have never met anyone like Kim and doubt I ever will.

There will always be a place in my heart for Kim.
Farewell my friend. You will be missed.

Robert

Hi kim....years have past since we lost you. I didn't know you as well as others but i do remember talking to you a few times. I found you to be a special, soft spoken guy. You were a good friend to many. I just want to say that we had our 20th high school reunion this past saturday. It was so great to see everyone there. We had a memorial table set and there was your picture. We wish you were there in body, but we know you were there looking over all of us.you were there in our hearts. I was outside sitting with chaz and others just talking about things from the past. You were loved by many Kim, and i just want to say even though you are not here, you are remembered by many and you touched many hearts. I know we will all be together again in time.

So on that note i will say so long and may you rest in peace my friend. We all miss you.
Barbara A.

I dreamt of you this morning and woke up with a lighter feeling about this mystery called death. The strange thing is that I had forgotten that your birthday was approaching, until I woke up from the dream and saw that, just maybe, it was a birthday hello.

I moved from Montreal to Vancouver in 1997 and met Kim in 1998. He was working as a bartender where I used to go swing dancing every night. We talked about how both of us were from Quebec, and about our love of writing. He was very forward, telling me he liked me and asking me out right away. I said "yes" and ran out of the bar, but the next time I saw him, I asked for his phone number and we went out for 3 years after that, living together for one and a half years. Afterwards, we remained friends, emailing and phoning each other, but I have never been very good at stoking the fires of a friendship in which the friend is not an actively involved in the same hobbies as I am. In December and the first two weeks of January, Kim and I were trying to find a time where we were both free to see the Return of the King... we never made it. It was an interest that we shared deeply since childhood and a great bond between us. Even though we had promised to see it with each other and only with each other, I would feel so much better knowing that he got to see and be touched by that beautiful movie before he died. When I see Aragorn, I think of him.

I had committed the grave error of agreeing to go camping with Booner & Scrap when I was thirteen or fourteen (they had not earned their Knowlton Pub warrior names yet, they were still just Kim & Sean).

They came to the conclusion that it was time to live rough for a few days - live on what you can carry or kill (odd for pacifists but I was not brave enough to challenge them on it, given they had taken to carrying bayonets around, again odd for pacifists). So a plan was hatched to prepare 80lbs of canned food, some really cheaply made East-Indian ceremonial swords, another 70 lbs of whatever gear young teenagers who never seriously camp feel they need, some large tarpaulins, and then load it into the heaviest world war era canvas rucksacks we could find. The guys running the Vimy exhibit at the National War Museum would have been in tears...

We were not actually going to an established, reputable campground at any point. I have no idea how, but they managed to convince dear old Wendy to drive her only two young sons and someone else's kid out near Pinnacle Mountain on the US border at 9pm on a Friday evening and dump us out there on a desolate country rod. "We'll see you in a couple of days" (MAYBE).

In the year 2006 any mother who would fall for that would have Child Protection Services pounding on the door with a battering ram and a shiny new orange one-piece pressed & fitted. I was lucky enough to be with two kids whose mother KNEW they had the skills to live without her for three days.

We slept in fields, woods, and semi-abandoned barns all over the south of Frelighsburgh for 4 days, walking everywhere we went except the one ride we got from Mickey B. Oddly, he didn't find anything amiss about three teenagers roaming the quiet countryside with swords and expecting to to hitch-hike successfully.

He survived the ride, as I did. I also learned that a man can survive on what he can carry. Walking on a country road in the middle of nowhere with your best friends is never a waste of time. Rain is just water and won't melt you. Food cooked on an open fire, eaten with a filthy swiss army knife can taste better than the filet mignon I can afford now, paid for with the winnings of far lesser risks than those I took when I so much younger.

Even though the years have passed,
you are not forgotten in my heart.
M.B.